Not everyone falls in love with their best friend, but it is possible for the person they fall in love with to become their best friend. As children, we play with various children in the neighborhood some of the same sex, some of the opposite. Somewhere along the way, we end up segregated with all the boys together and all the girls together. Being friends with the opposite sex is misinterpreted as a dating relationship, so we stick with our own sex. The biggest problem with this, we never learn how to relate to the opposite sex which makes healthy relationships later a problem.
Everyone has a best friend, or at least one person who they tell everything to. Some people have more than one good friend and they share different things with each person. For instance, your mom may be one of your best friends who you share life, love, and career goals with, but you may have another best friend who you share all the dirty details of your sex life with, things you would never tell mom. No matter how many friends you have and how many different secrets you share with each one, wouldn’t it be great if you could share it all with the person you care the most about? Relationships and friendships don’t have to be a separate deal; they can be one in the same.
Relationships usually start out with two strangers slowly getting to know one another. At the beginning of a relationship, the foundation of a friendship is starting so why stop there? Those first few telephone calls or emails revolve around getting to know the other person, how was your day? What do you do again? Oh, you like that coffee shop, me too. Getting to know a person is the first step in building a relationship, but also a friendship. Soon your conversations start to become more in depth as you learn more about the person.
Think in the long-term, if you plan on building a life with someone don’t you want them to be interested in your goals and support your dreams? That is what friends do for each other, they add to each other’s lives. Not everyone will fall in love with their best friend; sometimes the friendship comes with time and after the love is already there. Relationships often start with lust and then turn to love, not the other way around.
Every relationship needs clear boundaries; no one wants to lose or give up their individuality. Being friends with your significant other doesn’t mean you give up friends or that you can’t have separate groups of friends. Friendship is an important part of most people’s lives and keeping close to the people who have always been there for you is necessary in keeping your individuality. Boundaries are not walls; they are simply things that you will not put with. Boundaries are put in place to help protect your heart, soul, mind, and body. For instance, cheating, abuse, or addictions are some examples of boundaries; meaning if someone cheats on your, abuses you, or gives in to addictions you will walk away. Boundaries are a comfort level and no one should sacrifice their sense of safety or security; if something makes you feel uneasy set a boundary.
Boundaries are a way of protecting yourself, not fencing out other people. If your significant other is also your friend, they will understand and respect your wishes. Nothing beats coming home to someone you can share your day with each night, or always having a shoulder to cry on. Strong relationships are those with a solid friendship foundation. Feeling comfortable enough to share your deepest feelings, darkest fears, or funniest childhood memories builds trust and respect; things that are important in all relationships.
Friends are people you laugh, cry, and joke around with. Building a friendship within your relationships is a healthy choice. It will make your relationship strong and more fun to have someone you can rely on to be there for you. Years down the road do you want your partner to be a stranger or a friend who has seen you through the years? I vote on the friend who has experienced life with me.
About SWK
