A: Greetings,

I will say this and you must remember this statement for the rest of your life. If you remember and understand this statement you can use it for a variety of situations and it will save you a LOT of heartache.

You can not change another human being who does not want you to "assist" them in changing" Period.

You simply can not change another human being. Period. If what you do or have done for someone moves them to change, understand that the change still comes 100% from them. They have to make the decision to use helpful information from those around them. You can not make someone love you who does not want to. You can not make someone sexually attracted to you, who is not and does not want to be. And you can not make an unwilling partner get back into the swing of sex. If he is willing that is a whole other ballgame.

So, with that having been said, here is the deal.There are a great deal of factors that may contribute to your boyfriend's lack of sexual motivation. I too am saddened at the thought that one would be bored of sex by the time they are 26. However, we could probably go on forever about the motivation for his lack of interest, however that would not solve your problem. I would be curious to know what reason he is giving you for his lack of sexual energy.

Regardless, you are in a situation where you have a decision to make. To leave or stay. This is based on that one important statement. If he is not willing to solve the problem or if there really is no problem (there could simply be a difference in your sex drives. It happens.) Then you can decide to stay with him and accept the lack of sex. But from your inquiry, it does not seem like you would be willing to do that. And you are very young as well.You deserve a healthy sex life. You deserve a partner with a compatible sex drive. It's also unfair to you to have to suppress your drive for someone who has "already had his fun". You must also consider the possibility that he is still having a lot of fun... elsewhere.

I am not giving you this bit of advice as if to imply that I don't know there is an emotional investment you have in your relationship. However at your age, now is the time to have an emotional investment in your self and your self worth. Just because you dissolve a relationship in search of a more compatible mate, does not mean you or the other person were wrong or at fault. A lot of people don't understand that. There is a such thing as not being compatible. Learn how to properly dissolve a relationship now, with respect, and you will be a much happier, less jaded and angry person as you grow older. It will also teach you to always take care of yourself while being respectful and considerate of the other person at the same time.

Sincerely,
Tressa!