Thank you for the wonderful advice you are giving in “Ask Tressa” column. You are a true chipangamazano, a real and good adviser. I’ve learned lots from all the letters submitted and the answers you gave.
Let me just add a few comments though on one or two issues.
First I echo the writer who moaned the lack of quality adult films. I get really put off by the films available where there’s no plot or story line but just pounding of flesh. There’s no finesse in the lovemaking. Then there’s the issue of limp dicks sometimes! I must say though that this (pounding flesh) is not cultural amongst us black people, well, at least from Zimbabwe here! Five years ago my grandfather in his 80s was telling me about foreplay, how I must never rush a woman but must take time to satisfy her. He spoke at length about making sure the mood was right, caressing and fondling and the actual act! I was shocked since I had grown up reading white books and ended up assuming that culturally black men are rough towards their women.
The second issue is about how we as black people must relate to each other, especially our partners, get to know them and then respond to THAT! NOT what other people are saying or doing. If we see something in other couples and we love it then let’s try it but if it doesn’t work for us then let’s stop it and NOT feel inferior or pressured at all.
Let’s keep loving.
One love
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