Ask Tressa! is a free, honest advice column about sex, relationships, sexuality, toys and STDS or anything else on your mind!

Disclaimer: This website is not a substitute for professional advice. Tressa is not a counselor, psychologist, or medical doctor. If you are distressed, seek professional help immediately.

Reader Thoughts from Zimbabwe

Thank you for the wonderful advice you are giving in “Ask Tressa” column. You are a true chipangamazano, a real and good adviser. I’ve learned lots from all the letters submitted and the answers you gave. Let me just add a few comments though on one or two issues. First I echo the writer who moaned the [...]

The Elusive Orgasm

Q: HI Tressa, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs now. i lost my virginity at age 23 and i still have not yet had an orgasm. I don’t know what it is. I’m convinced it’s me and somethings wrong with my body, i mean i can enjoy sex even tho it hurts every [...]

A Divided Soul…

Q: This is not easy for me…i am having some feelings that i am not quite sure i understand. About two (2) years ago i meet a sistah that turned me on in a way that no one ever has. i guess i must preface this by saying that i am a married 24 year [...]

Give It To Me Straight…

Q: I’ve been meeting men who are very nice, easy on the eyes, and sexy as hell. I establish friendships with these men. My problem starts when they want to take the friendship to a sexual level. I express that I don’t have sex with a man who isn’t doing anything for me, and they [...]

Threesome…

Q: Hi I would like to ask you, how can I get my wife to partake in a threesome. she mentioned it about three years ago but haven’t brought it up since, now I am ready, how do I bring it back up? ~Dre~

Sexually Frustrated…

Q: Ok, my boyfriend is 7 years older then me. and he has been sexualy active since he was very young (he’s 26 now) and i just started getting sexually active. I want to have sex all the time. I love it. But him, he doesnt and it makes me feel like hes tired of [...]

I’m Ready…

Q: I have really been feeling this guy I’ve known for about 2yrs. For these past two years I have been extremely sexually attracted to him. The attraction has been growing stronger and stronger and I have made up my mind that I really want to have sex with him. The dilemma is that I [...]

In Need Of A Boost…

Q: Me and my fiance are both 21 years old. He loves to have sex all the time, but I really don’t care for it all the time. What can I do to boost my sex? ~In Need Of A Boost~

Normal…

Q: I hope my question doesn’t sound too strange, but: Is there a normal amount of sex that a healthy, loving couple should be having?? Should it be up to the couple to negotiate the amount of sex they have, or is there really an amount “too low” for any couple?? I ask this because my [...]

Good Black Adult Films…

Q: I am a socially progressive young black woman. My partner and I want to watch good heterosexual porn together, but the only porn that features loving couples are white feature films. All the black porn seems to be perpetuating horrible stereotypes of black culture, and it disgusts me and my partner. Can someone please steer [...]