You may see some minor changes around both sites as we work to provide what we like to call “Simple – Quality”. We want you prepared, educated, hot and bothered and if we can get some laughs out of you, it’d be the icing on the cake.

I just relocated from Upstate, New York (why oh why did I ever live there?) back to my hometown in Florida. I admit I had a sort of love/hate relationship with my hometown but after being away for over 10 years, it’s amazing the amount of personal growth one can have. Anyway, this means I have a TON of work to do at strawberrywonderkiss.com, this site and the new sex talk video series we will start filming at the end of the month. We are all looking forward to it!

Cheers!

I think I simply need to be more selective. I thought, well what good is it to do movie ratings if I don’t deal with whatever comes my way? Well now the question is, what good are movie ratings if 99% of them are terrible? So I’ve decided to be more selective in the movies I choose to rate. I think this way, the ratings will be more useful and be more applicable to individual films rather than my attitude towards certain types of films.

This will be pretty difficult since “anything goes” in porn and you can’t really predict what you’ll end up watching. But for now, I’ll lay off the Haterade (well, after this batch I have to hate on tonight). All is fair in love and porn. Cheers!

Everyone goes through tough times and when you are part of a couple your stress may be mutual. Stress happens because life happens and some things are out of our control. When the tough times come, the relationship will either grow stronger or grow apart. It is possible to keep love alive and pull together when the hard times come. There is no need to add additional stress to the relationship. Relationships are full of giving and taking and mutual respect for each other.

There are a few steps to take to get you and your loved one through the tough times. One thing to remember is that those things that are out our control can’t be changed no matter what. There are times when we have to except things for the way they are. For instance, if you have a nice picnic in the park planned and then it rains, it can be frustrating and disappointing but it can’t be changed. You can, however, move your picnic to the living room floor, or to a covered picnic area in the park. Stress happens when we try too hard to control things that are out of our control. Stress also happens when too many things are expected of us and we feel overwhelmed.

Hard times can be anything from a death in the family to a heated argument. These days financial difficulties seem to be the number one reciprocal stressor. Worry is an emotion that should be avoided. It’s hard not to worry about how to put food on the table or where the rent money is going to come from, but worry will only add more stress to the situation. Mutual solutions are the best solutions and allow you both to practice giving, taking, and compromising. Take the time to talk with your partner and come up with solutions, even if they are only temporary. True you may not solve every problem, but worrying only adds more problems.

Be patient with one another. Stress leads to frustration and we tend to lash out at those closest to us. Understand you’re both having reciprocal feelings about the current situation. Support one another, when one of you becomes frustrated allow that person to vent and just listen to them by putting your own feelings aside for awhile. Giving your time, understanding, and patience to your partner will keep you close and put many arguments at bay.

Be forgiving of one another. We all say things out of anger that we don’t really mean. When things turn from good to bad, humans tend to turn against the ones they love the most. It’s okay to feel hurt, that will happen, but when your partner is genuinely sorry it’s time to forgive and move on. Resentment will destroy a relationship faster than anything else.

Tough times are going to come, but they don’t have to destroy a relationship. For a partnership to last, both people need to give and take. Talk to each other; don’t shut the other person out. Work on mutual solutions to strengthen your relationship. The harder you work together through the hard times, the stronger your relationship will be in the long run.

Self-awareness seems like a simple concept, being aware of myself, but there is actually a little more to it than that. Self-awareness is gaining an understanding in why we feel the way we do and behave the way we do. Being aware of these things gives you the chance to change things you don’t like about yourself and build the type of existence you really want. It can take some time to really understand why you feel a certain way about things or act a certain way at times, but once you really understand yourself you become a stronger person. Think about it this way, every time you come home from work you are bombarded at the door with questions and demands for dinner. You end up fighting with your spouse, partner, and/or kids and the rest of the evening is a nightmare. Take some time to process these events; maybe you need 10-20 minutes to get in the house, relax, breathe, and get out of your work clothes.  Make the changes by telling your partner to give you 20 minutes each night after work to wind-down. You may find that you actually enjoy coming home and spending the evening together. It is all about self-awareness and taking time to learn about you.

Learning about yourself will make you stronger in relationships. Learning your own likes and dislikes makes telling your partner those things easy. It is hard to find relationship success with someone who never knows what they want. It can also be hard in relationships to love someone who has no self-love. Self-love doesn’t have to be an arrogant thing; it is loving all those things you find out about yourself. Take time to get to know yourself, and then fall in love with the person you are and the person you are becoming. Self-love is positive and helps you become more self-aware, so you can find more things to love. It is much easier to love someone who loves themselves and isn’t relying on you for their self-esteem. We like to surround ourselves with positive people, and those with self-love are generally positive.

It is okay to take some time to yourself and be a little selfish every once in awhile. It is hard to learn about yourself with people constantly around you. Find solitude in nature and spend a day alone, reflect on the things you really do enjoy and voice it to your partner. Maybe you really don’t like cooking every single night, say it. Love the fact that you do not enjoy spending time in the kitchen. Relationship success is not based on the perception of others, but the ability to communicate, love each other, and love yourself.

Everyone has a best friend, or at least one person who they tell everything to. Some people have more than one good friend and they share different things with each person. For instance, your mom may be one of your best friends who you share life, love, and career goals with, but you may have another best friend who you share all the dirty details of your sex life with, things you would never tell mom. No matter how many friends you have and how many different secrets you share with each one, wouldn’t it be great if you could share it all with the person you care the most about? Relationships and friendships don’t have to be a separate deal; they can be one in the same.

Relationships usually start out with two strangers slowly getting to know one another. At the beginning of a relationship, the foundation of a friendship is starting so why stop there? Those first few telephone calls or emails revolve around getting to know the other person, how was your day? What do you do again? Oh, you like that coffee shop, me too. Getting to know a person is the first step in building a relationship, but also a friendship. Soon your conversations start to become more in depth as you learn more about the person.

Think in the long-term, if you plan on building a life with someone don’t you want them to be interested in your goals and support your dreams? That is what friends do for each other, they add to each other’s lives. Not everyone will fall in love with their best friend; sometimes the friendship comes with time and after the love is already there. Relationships often start with lust and then turn to love, not the other way around.

Every relationship needs clear boundaries; no one wants to lose or give up their individuality. Being friends with your significant other doesn’t mean you give up friends or that you can’t have separate groups of friends. Friendship is an important part of most people’s lives and keeping close to the people who have always been there for you is necessary in keeping your individuality. Boundaries are not walls; they are simply things that you will not put with. Boundaries are put in place to help protect your heart, soul, mind, and body. For instance, cheating, abuse, or addictions are some examples of boundaries; meaning if someone cheats on your, abuses you, or gives in to addictions you will walk away. Boundaries are a comfort level and no one should sacrifice their sense of safety or security; if something makes you feel uneasy set a boundary.

Boundaries are a way of protecting yourself, not fencing out other people. If your significant other is also your friend, they will understand and respect your wishes. Nothing beats coming home to someone you can share your day with each night, or always having a shoulder to cry on. Strong relationships are those with a solid friendship foundation. Feeling comfortable enough to share your deepest feelings, darkest fears, or funniest childhood memories builds trust and respect; things that are important in all relationships.

Friends are people you laugh, cry, and joke around with. Building a friendship within your relationships is a healthy choice. It will make your relationship strong and more fun to have someone you can rely on to be there for you. Years down the road do you want your partner to be a stranger or a friend who has seen you through the years? I vote on the friend who has experienced life with me.

Sex coaching sounds a lot more strange than it actually is. Sex coaching is a way to help couples rekindle their sex life, improve communication, and enjoy being together sexually once again. The coaching helps increase your skills and knowledge about sex. Your sex coach can help you work through your sexual concerns and get your through the dry spell. A coach is simply a teacher, someone who will figure out what you need and then teach you both how to be a better lover to each other.

There are many benefits to hiring a sex coach. The first benefit is the opportunity to mix up your sex life. Even though you may love your partner, doing the same thing each and every time can get boring quick. A sex coach can help you learn new tricks and things to try in bed, that you never imagine were possible. This doesn’t mean every kinky thing you ever saw in a porno, but things you will actually want to try.

Another benefit is an increased self-confidence. Learning to set aside your inhibitions can open up a whole new world of opportunity for both you and your partner. The sex coach will teach you how to open up and communicate with each other; as well as, share your deepest fantasies. By letting down your guard, you will learn to freely express your desires and wishes.

You will learn a lot of things about your partner and yourself and sex in general. Learning is knowledge and the more you know the better prepared you will be in the future. Life is unpredictable and things happen; we laugh, we cry, we grieve, and we get stressed out. Learning new skills can help make and keep your relationship strong, even through the rough times. Once you start the learning process, it may be hard to stop. Your sex coach will give you the confidence and tools to communicate so that in the future it because easy to do on your own.

Sex coaches aren’t just for couples; you can see one as a single individual also. Maybe you just got out of a string of bad relationships; or you simple want to learn how to be a better lover. No matter your reason for wanting to further you education, a sex coach can help you. They are available to you to educate; teaching you skills and knowledge to be confident in yourself and your sexual capabilities.

Everyone knows there are short and long term risks to drinking alcohol. As long as you know your limits and limit your intake to a few nights a week, you should be fine. The effect alcohol has on a person varies.  There are also differences between men and women and their sexual effects. Men and women are made up different both physically and mentally. The two main factors when it comes to alcohol are how much a person drinks and their gender. Let’s take a look at the different effects based on gender.

Women’s number one problem after drinking is a lack of sexual arousal. They have no desire to engage in sexual intercourse. Those that do want to make love to their partner have problems getting aroused. Even having just one drink reduces the physical response and the ability to produce vaginal lubrication.

Women who do engage in sexual intercourse while intoxicated have problems reaching orgasm or have fewer orgasms than normal. Their overall sexual experiences tend to be less satisfying than when they are completely sober. Not all women will experience problems and many women claim to have amazing sexual experiences while under the influence. Strangely enough, many people think or believe their experiences are much better than they actually are. Alcohol can lead you to believe you are having great sex, when in reality you don’t even orgasm. You may also be less lubricated than normal, which can cause pain later. Alcohol can also numb the pain so that you don’t feel as much until the next day.

Men can normally drink more than women can before they feel intoxicated, but that doesn’t mean their sex drive is any better. Men also have a reduction in desire and sex drive after a few drinks. The drunker they get the harder it is for them to get and maintain an erection. If they do get an erection it will take longer than normal to ejaculate, if they can do it at all.

Some men may have a reduced sexual drive and others will feel more sexually aggressive. This can be dangerous if either party do not want to have sex. Alcohol drops down everyone’s inhibitions, so it can be harder to say no and harder to except ‘no’ as a true answer.

Alcohol does cause negative effects to your sex drive, whether you are male or female. The more you drink and the longer you drink, the more distinct the effects will be. Long term alcoholics have reported many problems with their sex lives and it doesn’t get better with continued use. If you are using alcohol to rev up your sex life, better think of something else because in the end neither of you will be able to perform properly.

I decided to watch this film because I just had to see what kind of craziness they could come up with for a title like Dr. Black Love. I was quite delighted with this film most of the time. I must say I did want to punch the guy playing the orderly. I mean, he might as well have been in black face. It’s one thing to act a fool in mainstream movies when they pay you X million dollars but a porno brotha? A damn Porno?

Anyway, overall this film was entertaining. Sharon Mitchell did a great job as usual. The guy playing Dr. Black Love was pretty amusing and he brought a lot of good energy to the movie. I don’t know who he is…I guess I could look it up but… it’s not that serious. OK so it was Brad Veal. *Smile*

Nina Hartley played two roles in this film, (one with black wig, one without. Come on, like no one would know it was the same person…..She has a very distinctive face.) and she did a fantastic job at both parts. In one part she was playing the shy but willing wife with a weird southern accent and in the other she was playing an innocent newly wed who was just coming in for birth control education.

The best part is the scene where Nina Hartley is playing the wig wearing country bumpkin. She and her porn hubby are having a pretty believable couple’s therapy session with some serious faced porn guy who could almost pass for a real therapist…until he takes his dick out. It was both amusing and very cute. The acting during this scene was excellent as well and felt very real. *Smile*

After a few boring sex scenes, Nina Hartley reappears as an innocent newly wed and Sharon Mitchell takes her into an examination room to wait for the doctor. While she’s waiting, Sharon decides to teach her about another form of birth control…oral sex. *Smile* From there we witness the magical tongue and lip work of our talented Sharon Mitchell. We see this impressive talent again later in the film when she does the best 69 PL (pussy licking) I’ve seen in an adult film.

The remainder of the film is pretty boring. Even the Ron Jeremy scene couldn’t save it towards the end. However, one did get to see Sharon Mitchell’s PL skills once more during the RJ scene so it wasn’t a total loss.

The last scene was very out of place. Some woman was having nightmares that she was being chased by “black cocks”…. cocks… what a strange word. Anyway, the male therapist had to hypnotize her into wanting “white cocks”. What’s that bullshit?

That was pretty much it and they had the nerve to make The Return of Dr. Black Love. It was so bad I wanted to burn my eyes out with lemon juice. Can you do that?

Story 1 – This story was fantastic on so many levels. First of all, the acting again was wonderful. The story itself was very believable and felt like “real life”. But there were also some important social elements in this story as well (i.e. friendship, closeness, relationships, intimacy, etc.). I also like that the two women were about the same age and the storyline supported a theme of two young people of the same age experiencing sex on an equal level. There wasn’t that sort of predatory older person/younger person dynamic. These two women also had an incredible sexual chemistry as well. The sex was very very sensual and I really enjoyed it. There was a lot of great kissing (not that childish porn kissing), sensual touching, body kissing, hugging, skin-to-skin, breast caressing, etc. If someone were to ask me what adult movie they should watch if they were exploring their sexuality, it would be this one.

Story 2 – This story was also very stimulating. If you are like myself and enjoy verbal stimulation, you will love this one. *Smile* Again, excellent acting going on in this one as well. There wasn’t a whole lot of context supplied for this story but it was still good. It was established that these two women were roommates but there was no context about why the younger one shouldn’t go to a party where there would be drinking when she is clearly old enough to want to attend. Which lead me to wonder if they were in a rehab or something. Hahaha Anyway, the chemistry here was fantastic. There was a LOT of body contact and these ladies appeared to truly enjoy each others bodies. They could have done without the strap on scene however, they just couldn’t get a good rhythm going. It looked really awkward. I do like how they worked the pantyhose though. It was extremely sexy. The younger woman also had the most beautiful orgasm I’ve seen in a while. Wow! *Smile* …and really great hair.

Story 3 – This one wasn’t bad but it wasn’t exciting either. This was just two young people having sex. That’s how interesting it was.

Story 4 – This story could have been hot but it wasn’t. Well not to me anyway. The whole snotty young person thing isn’t sexy and they did some 1970s incest thing with it so they kinda screwed up bringing up the rear with this film. But the first two stories were amazing enough to still make this a good watch.

Story 2 – Also very cute. This one was with Heather and Elexis Monroe. It was kind of interesting to see these two together. Elexis also looked very innocent in this one. I saw another one where she was acting innocent on purpose and she does it very well. It suits her more than the dominant roles she’s played IMO. She should also change her name to “GrindMaster E”. *Smile*

Story 3 – Well on one hand it was cool seeing two mature women having sex (I’d have to say these ladies were over 50). On the other hand, its not that cool seeing mature women with fake boobs, shaved crotches and banged out assholes. I went all out on that comment but still. It’s true.

Story 4 – This story was creepy. It kinda felt like a creepier version of that child molester episode from “d’ffrent Strokes”. That’s all I can say.

Story # 2 was ok. It was somewhat sensual for a little while. I couldn’t get too into it because one of the chicks reminded me of a scary android woman from a video game. She even kinda sounded like an android. But she had her sensual going for a little while.

Story 3# …. just your usual lame girl on girl thing. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Story 4# … Mediocre but I think sometimes I’m caught off guard by fake boobs. Sometimes they can be so appalling that I feel angry. This was one of those times. I try not to say anything negative about the actual people in the films because well… I just don’t look at people that way. But there are some things in adult films that apply to the people in them that I’m going to blog about and fake boobs is one of them.

Story 2 – I was pleasantly surprised by this one because the women were speaking Spanish and there were subtitles. It kinda brings you out of “sameness”. I thought they were going to go to the abyss with the gyno tools but they didn’t (thank goodness). The one chick played herself with that fake blonde hair. What a shame. She was cute and could have easily rocked her natural hair color. The sex was wild, masturbatory boredom with some nonsensical ass smacking.

Story 3 – This was a real snorefest and I didn’t really watch it and so was Story 4. What is interesting about story 4 is that you can see when the chemistry between two people really isn’t there. The younger girl in this story was in another WSW volume and the chemistry between her and the woman she was with in that one was very obvious. It’s just interesting to see.

Story 2 – This is one of the times I’m damn impressed by the acting in adult films these days. I thought this story was cute and the talent did a good job with acting it out. Man, a black or dark brown couch would have rocked that couch scene… They did go to the abyss with one woman sticking her whole hand inside the other woman and well 8 fingers too… but if you like that sort of thing, you shall enjoy this cute little story. It actually wasn’t bad at all. I’m being silly here.
*Update: I have had the chance to watch this again. If you like seeing genuinely energetic sex between women, this is the clip for you. Not to mention these two women were all smiles the whole time (and beautful ones at that). I love it when the one chick tells the other to calm down and the other woman says “you make me squirmy.” Very cute.

Story 3 – Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Story 4 – Well … “your daughter is depressed. I like women.” ….”Oh really? Lets have sex.” :) I love porn. It is so wonderfully nonsensical. Also -insert big, obscene fake boobage and wild, disconnected, masturbatory sex here-. The End.

Let me just add a few comments though on one or two issues.

First I echo the writer who moaned the lack of quality adult films. I get really put off by the films available where there’s no plot or story line but just pounding of flesh. There’s no finesse in the lovemaking. Then there’s the issue of limp dicks sometimes! I must say though that this (pounding flesh) is not cultural amongst us black people, well, at least from Zimbabwe here! Five years ago my grandfather in his 80s was telling me about foreplay, how I must never rush a woman but must take time to satisfy her. He spoke at length about making sure the mood was right, caressing and fondling and the actual act! I was shocked since I had grown up reading white books and ended up assuming that culturally black men are rough towards their women.

The second issue is about how we as black people must relate to each other, especially our partners, get to know them and then respond to THAT! NOT what other people are saying or doing. If we see something in other couples and we love it then let’s try it but if it doesn’t work for us then let’s stop it and NOT feel inferior or pressured at all.

Let’s keep loving.

One love